To view in full screen please click here

“Traffic & Parking in Ballyfermot Drive and Parade”

“After a number of meetings between the traffic deptpartment of Dublin City Council and local people who are concerned for their health and safety because of the volume of traffic using the area to U-turn and park,People Before Profit councillor Brid Smith has been told that the council will erect NO U-TURN signs in the area.

Local people had asked for the paths to be widened and double yellow lines to be marked up. But the council are obviously choosing the cheapest and easiest option. We will have to monitor the outcome and get back to the traffic department if the problem is not resolved…”

Below I create an animated demonstration of what they are trying to say is a serious issue to the residents health and safety.

I drove down Ballyfermot Parade yesterday and noticed the sign was already erected in place. There should of been more notice and advertising giving plus more to time for locals to prepare to oppose the sign being erected in the location. Normally weeks of notice should be given to the local residents before the road is to be altered in anyway.

The Main Problem

The main problem caused now because of Brid Smith and DCC is that the local residents of the area will be prosocuted for simply turning around outside the residence manovering such as a simply 3 point turn. The sign erected is a statutory legal sign and the residents must comply with it until their vehicle leaves Ballyfermot Parade and Ballyfermot Drive.

“After a number of meetings between the traffic deptpartment of Dublin City Council and local people who are concerned for their health and safety because of the volume of traffic using the area to U-turn”

To be honest I’m kind of puzzled by that statement because there was no data or documentation produced to prove or show that there was any danger, risk or problems. It seems to me that possibly one person said there was a problem with nothing to back it up. Something as simple as a traffic count or a traffic conflict report or even a road safety audit. I know Ballyfermot Drive and Parade like the back of hand there isn’t a problem with a large volume of traffic U-turning or parking. There may be 1-2 cars U-turning that aren’t localally from the road every 1-2 hours. And as far the parking problem statement goes, is absolute rubbish it doesn’t happen. The only vehicles that park on Ballyfermot Drive and Parade are the vehicles of the residents

“Local people had asked for the paths to be widened and double yellow lines to be marked up. But the council are obviously choosing the cheapest and easiest option.”

The local people or person who had asked for the footpaths to be widened and double yellow lines to be marked made a terrible recommendation in suggesting that. Okay widening the pedestrian footpaths is a method of traffic calming, so fair enough but there isn’t enough space for the pavement to be widened. The road is already narrowed to a minimum. Every local person knows that already.

Marking double yellow lines up the two streets will just add to the choas, the road is so narrow and some of the local residents don’t have a drive way or have more than one car, so they have to park their personal vehicle outside their residence usually half way on the footpath and half way on the road to allow other vehicles to pass by. I’m still kind of puzzled as to why this newsletter said the local people want double yellow lines to be marked, I just doesn’t make any sense because they wouldn’t even be able to park outside their own homes without receiving a parking fine, being clamped or have their vehicle towed away by Dublin City Councils traffic wardens.

I edited this video from a South Park episode and added the full gay fish audio song to it. I uploaded this video to YouTube a few moths ago but YouTube/Google been the assholes they are disabled the video content and restricted it from parts of world. So I developed my own video player and so far so good.

The Assumption church = €1.5 Million Debt

St. Matthew’s Church = €1 Million Debt

Its three week old news that was published in the Echo newspaper but I can’t help thinking about how ridiculous it is, like how the hell does two small churches manage to get so far into debt before telling anyone. You would think when they got into 1,000 or 10,000 debt they might realize they have a serious and try do something about instead of waiting on miracle to happen while they continue to keep spending getting further and further into debt.

St. Matthew’s Church excuse is that they spent 800,000 on refurbishments in 2008 and the rest was spent on running the church. It kind of sounds like a load of bullshit to be honest. The church didn’t need the luxuries of a big well kitted out extension for courses not run by the church or for people to drop in for a cup of tea. They should have left the whole drop in for a cup of tea thing to Daniel O’ Donnell. They have a kitchen already in the parish house for their friends to have a cup of tea; I just don’t see the point of a second kitchen if it leaves you in debt. And they didn’t need the new garden with all the expensive decorations and statues.

Fr O’Kelly of the Assumption seems to put some of the blame on the community for money that the community didn’t spend and says that,” with spiraling debts affecting parishes across the country, a number of steps are being taken to ensure the community takes on more responsibility”. I’m actually offended by that! I’m part of the community in Ballyfermot and I don’t go to church or even want to know about their services, so why would I need to take responsibility for business that someone else put into debt with luxuries they didn’t need in the first place such as a new decorated garden or gold cabinets. I always thought the role a priest was to serve Jesus and his people. But if you open your eyes you will realize that it’s being always being the people that have served the church and it’s priests instead of the other way around, masses, christens, weddings, funerals etc…the people always make large donations of cash to the church to cover luxuries, maintenance and salaries.

This next comment from Fr O’Kelly I think is hilarious and very ironic, Fr O’Kelly said: “Myself and Fr McGlynn have visited well over 300 houses already as a way of increasing our visibility in the parish and on our visits we have mentioned a need for support that the church has with regard to money”. So in other words they visited 300 not just for a friendly visit but with the agenda of asking for money off those people when people these days haven’t really got it to spare and I’m possibly correct in guessing the majority where old aged pensioners. I think I might try that, knock on a few doors and ask people “have you got any money that I could just have like”. But I have an idea what they might say to me and words would not be able to describe it.

All and anyways thanks for reading and drop a comment if you want.

For those who haven’t read the article in the Echo when it came out I’ll the article just below if you want take a read for yourself -

Fr. Fergus McGlynn and Fr. Michael O’ Kelly,

at their residence at the Assumption Church, Ballyfermot.

]]> http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/2009/11/27/ballyfermot-churches-is-a-combined-e25-million-euro-debt/feed/ http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/2009/10/05/77/ http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/2009/10/05/77/#comments Mon, 05 Oct 2009 04:31:12 +0000 Darren's Blog Admin http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/2009/10/05/77/

“Any other suggestions would be much appreciated for Interaction or about Mary”

(BTW! there all dudes in that picture)

What is an Emo?

Emo is an abbreviation for Emotional and is a name given to emotional unstable people that fit into a certain stereotypical group/clique. (Emo’s)

How to identify an Emo:

There is a lot of emo’s proud of being emo and there a lot that actually get confused and don’t realize that they are or basically just hate to admit they are emo. I know a few emo’s like that, there confused in the difference between Goths, Punk, Emos etc…

Emo Poetry:

Emo’s tend to write a lot of poetry or music lyrics that can be easily mistaken for suicide notes, but to an emo it’s more of a diary about there emotions and there way of expressing there emotions.

example -

two shots of hate from a mouth as loud as a gun,

like an assasin … who does it for fun.

two deafening blows in a war that has just begun,

life gone away…i’m done.

two red roses sitting on my coffin, the wind blows, leaving only one

the world i know disappears…like the setting sun.

Emos Hate themselves

Goths hate Everyone

Emos Want to Kill themselves

Goths Want to kill Everyone

Emo’s on MSN Messenger:

Emo conversation!

XxSlavetoAnguishxX: omg my gf just left me

acidburnedsoul: that sux man

XxSlavetoAnguishxX: i blame myself only i’m such an ass *cries*

acidburnedsoul: dude come over to my house and we can cut ourselves together

XxSlavetoAnguishxX: okay *cries*

acidburnedsoul: omg dashboard confessional has a new cd, i preordered it already

XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude they’re my favorite band to self-mutilate to

acidburnedsoul: i prefer to cut myself while watching Napoleon Dynamite on my bigscreen

XxSlavetoAnguishxX: dude that movie is so deep. i cry every time i see it

acidburnedsoul: me too. i hate myself

XxSlavetoAnguishxX: yeah we’re such tortured souls, nobody understands how hard life is for us

acidburnedsoul: yeah we got it tough dude. pass the tissues

The Emo Song

-Just kidding it is assault, don’t do it ok! -

Ballyfermot Emo Jigsaw Game

Emo Bands: That Emo’s self harm themselves while listen to

0–9

• 30 Seconds to Mars

A

• The Academy Is…
• A Day to Remember
• AFI
• Alexisonfire
• The All-American Rejects
• The Almost
• American Football
• …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead
• The Anniversary
• Amber Pacific
• The Appleseed Cast
• At the Drive-In

B

• Beefeater
• Benton Falls
• Braid
• Brand New
• Boys Like Girls
• Boys Night Out

C

• Cap’n Jazz
• Coheed and Cambria
• Cobra Starship
• Cute Is What We Aim For

D

• Dag Nasty
• Dashboard Confessional
• The Dismemberment Plan
• Drive Like Jehu

E

• Elliott
• Emanuel
• Embrace
• Escape the Fate
• Evanescence

F

• Fall Out Boy
• Fire Party
• Forever the Sickest Kids
• From Autumn to Ashes
• Funeral for a Friend

G

• The Get Up Kids
• Gray Matter
• Green Day

H

• Hawthorne Heights
• Hellogoodbye
• Hey Mercedes

I

• I Am Ghost
• Ida

J

• Jawbreaker
• Jimmy Eat World
• Joan of Arc
• The Juliana Theory

K

• Karate
• Kingface

L

• Lifetime
• Lostprophets
• Lunchmeat

M

• Matchbook Romance
• Mayday Parade
• Mineral
• The Movielife
• My Chemical Romance

N

• New Found Glory
• Noise Ratchet
• Northstar

O

• Our Last Night

P

• Panic at the Disco
• Paramore
• Pierce the Veil
• Pop Unknown
• The Promise Ring

R

• Rainer Maria
• The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
• Rites of Spring
• Rye Coalition

S

• Saosin
• Saves the Day
• Senses Fail
• The Shyness Clinic
• Silverstein
• Simple Plan
• Something Corporate
• The Spill Canvas
• Squirrel Bait
• The Starting Line
• Story of the Year
• Sunny Day Real Estate

T

• Taking Back Sunday
• Ten Second Epic
• Texas Is the Reason
• Thrice
• Tokio Hotel
• Thursday

U

• The Used

V

• The Van Pelt

W

• Weezer

Y

• You, Me, and Everyone We Know

Click on the link at the end to open and download or print the word search ballyfermot-word-search

BALLYFERMOT	CLEGGAN	ELMDALE	LE FANU
BLACKDITCH	CLIFDEN	KILLEEN	ORANMORE
CARNA	CLOVER HILL	KYLEMORE	RAHEEN PARK
CEDAR BROOK	DECIES	LALLY	ROSSMORE
CHERRY ORCHARD	DRUMFINN	LANDEN	SPIDDAL

If the document doesn’t open you will need to download Adobe reader and I will also put a link at the end of this text for the free Adobe reader download. Click Here to Download

Humorous Dublin Articles

Missed Connections Dublin

“You touched my Ball”

Location : Palmerstown Bowler

wer you in the Palmerstown bowler on Saturday? hi liter blond hair and a rapit nike tracksuit? i was in lane 3 and when i slipt on da lane you laffed at me but you were a ride so i didnt go mental. if u are readin dis, txt back and ill by you a bag of chips and maybe more….

Re: “You touched my Ball”

Location: Palmerstown Bowler

Alrite, whats de story? I saw you in d Palmerstown bowler on saturday, your beautiful eyes and wunderful fashun sence made me fall in luv strate away. You were wearin massive air max and a savage burberry cap, and wer drinkin fosters. I was wearin me best nike tracksuit, had blond hair, and laffed at u wen u fell over. I touched yer ball.

Giz a shout and we’ll go for an abra some time.

Pets wanted in Dublin

Title: Unicorn wanted

North Dublin Conversation

Wacker a shady yet scaldy Dub from Finglas calls his mate John-Jo a very dodgy character in Coolock for a casual conversation.

Wacker: What’s the storyyyyyyy? Ya bleedin muppet ye..

John-Jo: Alrightttttt! Just trippin balls on E watchin that feckin eejit Pat Kenny. What about you man?

Wacker: Just aven a shite!!!!

John-Jo: Brilliant, Brilliant, So are yea aven a good one then?

Wacker: Yea man, it’s bleedin deadly. I’m already feeling 10 stone lighter.

John-Jo: So are ya doin anything tomorrow like?

Wacker: Just gonna wash me Burberry hat and get out of it. Wha about you?

John-Jo: I’m working tomorrow, I have a few drop offs. A bit of wheelin and dealing if you catch me drift man…

Wacker: Jaysis! ye will be bleeding wrecked in the morning when that E wears off.

John-jo: Ah, it’s sorted man. I’m gonna get the bird bring me around. Ya know what I mean. I will buy her some new hoop earings or something.

Wacker:Hear! didn’t you get her new hoop earing the last time and didn’t they bleedin turn her ears yella.

John-Jo: hehe! Yeah!

Wacker: Hang on there bud! Someone is trying to ring me, yeah!

Wacker: hello!

25 Cent: Waaaassssssuuuuppppp!

Wacker: Waaaassssssuuuuppppp!

25 Cent: Waaaassssssuuuuppppp!

Wacker: What the hell do you want!

25 Cent: Alright Bud! It’s 25 here. Just seen if ya wanna buy any tracksuits and shit. Yeah.

Wacker: Alright horse, nah I have enough trackies.

25 Cent: Alright so…..Can I have a lend of a ten-er then? It’s for the Bus.

Wacker: M….M….I’m kinda broke bud.

25 Cent: Ah, shite….Alright bud I’ll talk to ya later then.

Wacker: Sorted bud! Later yeah!

Wacker: (switches back to John-Jo) Alright boll*cks, ya still there?

John-Jo: Alright! Who was it there?

Wacker: That feckin eejit 25 Cent looking for money.

John-Jo: He’s a bleeding lugamon that chap.

Wacker: yeah I know, right I have go bud. Talk to ya later yeah!

John-Jo: Right bud! Later yeah!

Wacker: Yeah!

Skanger me Banger

Since I’m ripping on the Dublin Skangers at the moment, I think a bit of help from Damo from Skanger me Banger (Pimp my ride, Irish satire) is in order. Lol

How to spot a female Skanger

Take My Skanger Test, by Clicking Here!!!

or

Add the quiz application to your Bebo page by

Clicking Here!!!

My Gallery of Funny Images

[Show as slideshow]

Ha ha!

Javascript Fun Hacks

Just copy and paste the codes into the URL box at the top of the page.

1.
javascript:document.body.contentEditable =’true’; document.designMode=’on’; void 0

2.
javascript:if(document.body.contentEdita ble){if(document.body.contentEditable==’ false’){document.body.contentEditable=’t rue’;}else{document.body.contentEditable =’false’;}}else{if(document.designMode== ‘on’){document.designMode=’off’;}else{do cument.designMode=’on’;}}void 0;

3.
javascript:alert(”your text here”)

4.
javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position=’absolute’; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+ “px”; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+” px”}R++}setInterval(’A()’,5); void(0);

5.
javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position=’absolute’; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+ “px”; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+” px”}R++}setInterval(’A()’,5); void(1);

6.
javascript:confirm(”Question or Answer”)

7.
javascript:prompt(”Question”,”Answer”)

8.
javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200;DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style;DIS.position=’absolute’; DIS.left=Math.sin (R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5;DIS.top=Math.cos(R* y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval(’A()’, 5); void(0);

Enjoy…

Google Secrets

method 1
?ww.google.com

put this string in google search:

“parent directory ” /appz/ -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” DVDRip -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory “Xvid -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” Gamez -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” MP3 -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” Name of Singer or album -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

Notice that i am only changing the word after the parent directory, change it to what you want and you will get a lot of stuff.

voila!

method 2
?ww.google.com

put this string in google search:

?intitle:index.of? mp3

You only need add the name of the song/artist/singer.

Example: ?intitle:index.of? mp3 jackson

More Google Secrets

Enter the names from the list below into Google and hit the I’m feeling lucky button next to the search button.

COMPLETE LIST
Google Codes-
google bearshare
google loco
google gothic
google linux
google l33t
google ewmew
xx-klingon
xx-piglatin
google bsd
google easter egg
answer to life the universe and everything
google mozilla
google gizoogle

Network Cameras
inurl:”viewerframe?mode=motion” (requires activeX)
intitle:”snc-rz30 home” (requires activeX)
intitle:”WJ-NT104 Main”
inurl:LvAppl intitle:liveapplet (great pan and zoom)
intitle:”Live View / - AXIS” (my favorite)
inurl:indexFrame.shtml “Axis Video Server”
Un-searchable Pages
“robots.txt” “disallow:” filetype:txt

FTP PASSWORD HASHES
intitle:index of ws_ftp.ini

intitle:”index of” passwd passwd.bak

FRONT PAGE HACK
inurl:_vti_pvt “service.pwd”

PHP PHOTO ALBUMS
inurl:”phphotoalbum/upload”
VNC HACK
“vnc desktop” inurl:5800 ….all the way up to 5806

FireFox Speed Tweaking

Yes, firefox is already pretty damn fast but did you know that you can tweak it and improve the speed even more?

That’s the beauty of this program being open source.
Here’s what you do:
In the URL bar, type “about:config” and press enter. This will bring up the configuration “menu” where you can change the parameters of Firefox.

Note that these are what I’ve found to REALLY speed up my Firefox significantly - and these settings seem to be common among everybody else as well. But these settings are optimized for broadband connections - I mean with as much concurrent requests we’re going to open up with pipelining… lol… you’d better have a big connection.

Double Click on the following settins and put in the numbers below - for the true / false booleans - they’ll change when you double click.

Code:
browser.tabs.showSingleWindowModePrefs – true
network.http.max-connections – 48
network.http.max-connections-per-server – 16
network.http.max-persistent-connections-per-proxy – 8
network.http.max-persistent-connections-per-server – 4
network.http.pipelining – true
network.http.pipelining.maxrequests – 100
network.http.proxy.pipelining – true
network.http.request.timeout – 300

One more thing… Right-click somewhere on that screen and add a NEW -> Integer. Name it “nglayout.initialpaint.delay” and set its value to “0”. This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it receives. Since you’re broadband - it shouldn’t have to wait.
Now you should notice you’re loading pages MUCH faster now!

Best KeyBoard Shortcuts

Windows key + R = Run menu

This is usually followed by:
cmd = Command Prompt
iexplore + “web address” = Internet Explorer
compmgmt.msc = Computer Management
dhcpmgmt.msc = DHCP Management
dnsmgmt.msc = DNS Management
services.msc = Services
eventvwr = Event Viewer
dsa.msc = Active Directory Users and Computers
dssite.msc = Active Directory Sites and Services
Windows key + E = Explorer

ALT + Tab = Switch between windows

ALT, Space, X = Maximize window

CTRL + Shift + Esc = Task Manager

Windows key + Break = System properties

Windows key + F = Search

Windows key + D = Hide/Display all windows

CTRL + C = copy

CTRL + X = cut

CTRL + V = paste

Also don’t forget about the “Right-click” key next to the right Windows key on your keyboard. Using the arrows and that key can get just about anything done once you’ve opened up any program.

Keyboard Shortcuts

[Alt] and [Esc] Switch between running applications

[Alt] and letter Select menu item by underlined letter

[Ctrl] and [Esc] Open Program Menu

[Ctrl] and [F4] Close active document or group windows (does not work with some applications)

[Alt] and [F4] Quit active application or close current window

[Alt] and [-] Open Control menu for active document

Ctrl] Lft., Rt. arrow Move cursor forward or back one word

Ctrl] Up, Down arrow Move cursor forward or back one paragraph

[F1] Open Help for active application

Windows+M Minimize all open windows

Shift+Windows+M Undo minimize all open windows

Windows+F1 Open Windows Help

Windows+Tab Cycle through the Taskbar buttons

Windows+Break Open the System Properties dialog box

acessability shortcuts

Right SHIFT for eight seconds…….. Switch FilterKeys on and off.

Left ALT +left SHIFT +PRINT SCREEN……. Switch High Contrast on and off.

Left ALT +left SHIFT +NUM LOCK……. Switch MouseKeys on and off.

SHIFT……. five times Switch StickyKeys on and off.

NUM LOCK…… for five seconds Switch ToggleKeys on and off.

explorer shortcuts

END……. Display the bottom of the active window.

HOME……. Display the top of the active window.

NUM LOCK+ASTERISK……. on numeric keypad (*) Display all subfolders under the selected folder.

NUM LOCK+PLUS SIGN……. on numeric keypad (+) Display the contents of the selected folder.

NUM LOCK+MINUS SIGN……. on numeric keypad (-) Collapse the selected folder.

LEFT ARROW…… Collapse current selection if it’s expanded, or select parent folder.

RIGHT ARROW……. Display current selection if it’s collapsed, or select first subfolder.

Type the following commands in your Run Box (Windows Key + R) or Start Run

devmgmt.msc = Device Manager
msinfo32 = System Information
cleanmgr = Disk Cleanup
ntbackup = Backup or Restore Wizard (Windows Backup Utility)
mmc = Microsoft Management Console
excel = Microsoft Excel (If Installed)
msaccess = Microsoft Access (If Installed)
powerpnt = Microsoft PowerPoint (If Installed)
winword = Microsoft Word (If Installed)
frontpg = Microsoft FrontPage (If Installed)
notepad = Notepad
wordpad = WordPad
calc = Calculator
msmsgs = Windows Messenger
mspaint = Microsoft Paint
wmplayer = Windows Media Player
rstrui = System Restore
netscp6 = Netscape 6.x
netscp = Netscape 7.x
netscape = Netscape 4.x
waol = America Online
control = Opens the Control Panel
control printers = Opens the Printers Dialog

internetbrowser

type in u’re adress “google”, then press [Right CTRL] and [Enter]
add www. and .com to word and go to it

For Windows XP:

Copy. CTRL+C
Cut. CTRL+X
Paste. CTRL+V
Undo. CTRL+Z
Delete. DELETE
Delete selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin. SHIFT+DELETE
Copy selected item. CTRL while dragging an item
Create shortcut to selected item. CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item
Rename selected item. F2
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word. CTRL+RIGHT ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word. CTRL+LEFT ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph. CTRL+DOWN ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph. CTRL+UP ARROW
Highlight a block of text. CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys
Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text within a document. SHIFT with any of the arrow keys
Select all. CTRL+A
Search for a file or folder. F3
View properties for the selected item. ALT+ENTER
Close the active item, or quit the active program. ALT+F4
Opens the shortcut menu for the active window. ALT+SPACEBAR
Close the active document in programs that allow you to have multiple documents open simultaneously. CTRL+F4
Switch between open items. ALT+TAB
Cycle through items in the order they were opened. ALT+ESC
Cycle through screen elements in a window or on the desktop. F6
Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer. F4
Display the shortcut menu for the selected item. SHIFT+F10
Display the System menu for the active window. ALT+SPACEBAR
Display the Start menu. CTRL+ESC
Display the corresponding menu. ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name
Carry out the corresponding command. Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu
Activate the menu bar in the active program. F10
Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu. RIGHT ARROW
Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu. LEFT ARROW
Refresh the active window. F5
View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer. BACKSPACE
Cancel the current task. ESC
SHIFT when you insert a CD into the CD-ROM drive Prevent the CD from automatically playing.

Use these keyboard shortcuts for dialog boxes:

To Press
Move forward through tabs. CTRL+TAB
Move backward through tabs. CTRL+SHIFT+TAB
Move forward through options. TAB
Move backward through options. SHIFT+TAB
Carry out the corresponding command or select the corresponding option. ALT+Underlined letter
Carry out the command for the active option or button. ENTER
Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box. SPACEBAR
Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons. Arrow keys
Display Help. F1
Display the items in the active list. F4
Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box. BACKSPACE

If you have a Microsoft Natural Keyboard, or any other compatible keyboard that includes the Windows logo key and the Application key , you can use these keyboard shortcuts:

Display or hide the Start menu. WIN Key
Display the System Properties dialog box. WIN Key+BREAK
Show the desktop. WIN Key+D
Minimize all windows. WIN Key+M
Restores minimized windows. WIN Key+Shift+M
Open My Computer. WIN Key+E
Search for a file or folder. WIN Key+F
Search for computers. CTRL+WIN Key+F
Display Windows Help. WIN Key+F1
Lock your computer if you are connected to a network domain, or switch users if you are not connected to a network domain. WIN Key+ L
Open the Run dialog box. WIN Key+R
Open Utility Manager. WIN Key+U

accessibility keyboard shortcuts:

Switch FilterKeys on and off. Right SHIFT for eight seconds
Switch High Contrast on and off. Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN
Switch MouseKeys on and off. Left ALT +left SHIFT +NUM LOCK
Switch StickyKeys on and off. SHIFT five times
Switch ToggleKeys on and off. NUM LOCK for five seconds
Open Utility Manager. WIN Key+U

shortcuts you can use with Windows Explorer:

Display the bottom of the active window. END
Display the top of the active window. HOME
Display all subfolders under the selected folder. NUM LOCK+ASTERISK on numeric keypad (*)
Display the contents of the selected folder. NUM LOCK+PLUS SIGN on numeric keypad (+)
Collapse the selected folder. NUM LOCK+MINUS SIGN on numeric keypad (-)
Collapse current selection if it’s expanded, or select parent folder. LEFT ARROW
Display current selection if it’s collapsed, or select first subfolder. RIGHT ARROW

Microsoft Office Excel KeyBoard Shortcuts

“I was messing around with Excel earlier and made a list of the Keyboard shortcuts.”

F1 Key Help
F2 Key Edit current Cell
F5 Key Goto
F7 Key Spell Check
F12 Key Save file as
CTRL and A Select entire worksheet.
CTRL and B Toggle Bold Text.
CTRL and C Copies the item or items selected to the Clipboard and can be pasted using CTRL and V.
CTRL and F Displays the Find dialog box.
CTRL and H Displays the Replace dialog box.
CTRL and I Toggles Italic Text.
CTRL and N New File.
CTRL and O Open File.
CTRL and P Print.
CTRL and S Save File.
CTRL and U Toggles Underlined Text.
CTRL and V Paste the contents of the clipboard.
CTRL and X Cut the selected item.
CTRL and Y Redo the last undone action
CTRL and Z Undoes the last action.
CTRL and 1 Displays Format Cells Dialogue Box
CTRL and 5 Toggles Strikethrough Text

Keyboard Shortcuts Result in Excel 2000 - Formulas
ALT and = Autosum
ALT and F8 Macros
CTRL and ; Insert Current Date
CTRL and : Insert Current Time

Keyboard Shortcuts Result in Excel 2000 - Movement
Left Arrow One Cell Left (also SHIFT and TAB)
Right Arrow One Cell Right (also TAB)
Up Arrow One Cell Up
Down Arrow One Cell Down
Home Go to End of row
CTRL and left Arrow Go to End of Column
CTRL and Home Go to Top of Worksheet (A1)
CTRL and End Go to End of Worksheet
CTRL and PAGE-DOWN Go to Next Worksheet

Keyboard Shortcuts Result in Excel 2000 - Cell Selection
CTRL and Spacebar Select the entire Column
SHIFT and Spacebar Select the entire Row
CTRL and A Select Entire Worksheet
SHIFT and Left Cursor Select all cells to the left of the active one

SHIFT and Right Cursor Select all cells to the right of the active one

Hope this helps…

Delete An “un-deletable” File

Open a Command Prompt window and leave it open.
Close all open programs.
Click Start, Run and enter TASKMGR.EXE
Go to the Processes tab and End Process on Explorer.exe.
Leave Task Manager open.
Go back to the Command Prompt window and change to the directory the AVI (or other undeletable file) is located in.
At the command prompt type DEL <filename> where <filename> is the file you wish to delete.
Go back to Task Manager, click File, New Task and enter EXPLORER.EXE to restart the GUI shell.
Close Task Manager.

Or you can try this

Open Notepad.exe

Click File>Save As..>

locate the folder where ur undeletable file is

Choose ‘All files’ from the file type box

click once on the file u wanna delete so its name appears in the ‘filename’ box

put a ” at the start and end of the filename
(the filename should have the extension of the undeletable file so it will overwrite it)

click save,

It should ask u to overwrite the existing file, choose yes and u can delete it as normal

Here’s a manual way of doing it. I’ll take this off once you put into your first post zain.

1. Start
2. Run
3. Type: command
4. To move into a directory type: cd c:\*** (The stars stand for your folder)
5. If you cannot access the folder because it has spaces for example Program Files or Kazaa Lite folder you have to do the following. instead of typing in the full folder name only take the first 6 letters then put a ~ and then 1 without spaces. Example: cd c:\progra~1\kazaal~1
6. Once your in the folder the non-deletable file it in type in dir - a list will come up with everything inside.
7. Now to delete the file type in del ***.bmp, txt, jpg, avi, etc… And if the file name has spaces you would use the special 1st 6 letters followed by a ~ and a 1 rule. Example: if your file name was bad file.bmp you would type once in the specific folder thorugh command, del badfil~1.bmp and your file should be gone. Make sure to type in the correct extension.

How To Setup Your Own DNS (Domain Name Server)

This is only a quick tutorial, there are literally hundreds of little tricks you can do with a DNS, but this will get your basics up and running. I’m assuming you want to setup a windows DNS server, but the principals will work for most servers.

You will need..

1) A domain name over which you have full control
2) DNS server software(Windows server always comes with one of these)
3) At least one fixed IP address, allthough two is highly desirable
4) An idea of what services you want on your server

The first thing you need to do is create your new domain entry. In windows this is called a “Zone” and you will have one for every domain name you have. Add your main domain in the forward lookup zone as a Primary zone, which will be in the format “Domainname.com”, or .co.uk, or whatever, you shouldn’t need any more details for this bit. Do *not* allow dynamic updates unless this is a local network DNS. Once it is created you will have 2 entry’s under your new domain, “SOA”(Or Start of Authority) and “NS”(Or Name server). If you want a 100% compliant DNS then you should now follow the same process but adding a domain as a reverse lookup zone. Any changes you make to the forward lookup should have the “Update Reverse Lookup” option ticked if its available, if not you must update the reverse zone manually(This is very important).

Now edit the “NS” entry in your forward zone to “NS0.DomainName.Com”, and set it to the relevant IP address. Add another (NS) record and set it to “NS1.DomainName.Com”. If using 2 IP address, try to make NS0 the first IP. Now you need to configure the SOA entry in the forward lookup zone. The serial number should be changed to a date followed by a number in this format “YYYYMMDDnn”, this is not required, but is advised by RIPE. The primary server will be the “NS0.domainname.com” entry you just made and the responsible person should be left for now. The refresh interval should be set somewhere between 1200 to 43200 seconds, the retry should be between 120-7200 seconds and the expires after should be around 2-4 weeks(I’ll let you work out the seconds for that). The minimum TTL is quite important, and depending on what you are going to do with the domain, you might need to tweak this a bit. Typically a value between 1-3 hours should be used. Now go to your “Name server” settings in your SOA record(In windows this is a tab in the same window) remove the defaults, and add your two Name servers that you just setup. We will come back to the SOA record later, but for now we need to do some more stuff.

If you want a website, then your going to want the WWW. setting up. We will set it up as an “A” record, which means it is a separate top level record and will be populated separately from other entries. So add an “A” to your forward lookup zone and put the entry as “WWW”, and set the IP address to wherever you want the website to be. This will be where the domain always goes, and it could be anywhere. Just make sure there is a web server waiting there for it. If you want FTP, then setup the same thing but with “FTP” in the entry. You will now also have to setup “A” records for the NS0 and NS1 name servers that you added previously, just make them the same as WWW and FTP, but make sure the IP addresses match the ones used for setting up the “NS” records. Also add a blank “A” record, this will make sure that “domainname.com” works as well as “www.domainname.com”.

Now you should decide whether or not you want to have mail on this domain. It is Hegel advisable that you set one up, even if it just to catch domain mail about abuse or potential problems that might occur. You can find plenty of high quality free mail servers out there, but I would recommend “Mail Enable”, its free and provides everything you would want, but if you want webmail you do have to pay something extra for it. We will now configure the MX records. Add an “A” name for your mail server, you can add 2 if you want, but for simplicity I would advise staying with 1. We will call ours “Mail.domainname.com”, and point it to one of our IP addresses. Now add an “MX” record in the Forward Lookup zone, giving it the full “A” record you just entered “Mail.domainname.com”, and do not setup a host or child domain, just leave it blank.

This next step isn’t needed, but is again highly recommended.

Now to finish the SOA you need to add two more records. A “RP” entry, which is a Responsible Person, and they will be the contact point for domain complaints and a “MB” entry, which is a mailbox entry. The “MB” should just be pointed to the mail server domain name “Mail.domainname.com”, and the “RP” should have the host or domain set to the name of your mail box. So for this server it will be “Tony.Domainname.com”, and the mailbox will be set to the “MB” record you just made. Don’t worry about the RP address having no “@” in it, this is the expected format for an “RP” entry. You will now have to go back into the SOA and change the responsible person to the new “RP” record you just made.

And thats it, your done! You can add as many “A” records as you like to point to other web servers, or a multitude of FTP sites. And you can add “CNAME” records to basically point to another name, usually an “A” record, like an alias.

Now before you switch your domain on, you need to check that the server is performing properly. So go to www.dnsreport.com, and run the report on your domain “domainname.com”, and it will give you a very detailed report of any problems, and even a short description of how to fix the problems. If all is OK, then you are ready to go live. If your domain name is new, or not currently hosted anywhere then the first thing you should do is re-point the domain at your new server. You will typically do this with the provider who owns the domain, and it will be different with all hosts. But the basic settings are the same. You will be asked for at least 2 name servers and ip addresses to go with them. Just put in “NS0.domainname.com” and “NS1.domainname.com” and put in the correct IP addresses. Make sure you do not mess this up, as changes to your main NS servers could potentially take several days to straighten themselves out. Update these settings, and then sit back and wait. You can do a whois on the main DNS server of your domain provider to check if the settings have worked, but again this doesn’t always work. For the big 3 domains(.com .net .org) you can do a whois on the network associates site to see the changes instantly. You can also track the progress of the domain changes by doing an NSLookup in dos, like this…

c:\nslookup ns0.domainname.com NS0.yourprovidersdns.com

That will give you the entries your domain provider has

c:\nslookup www.domainname.com ns0.domainname.com

And this will tell you if the changes for your domain have gone through to your ISPs DNS yet. It should give you back the IP address of your new DNS server.

You should always make sure your server is backed up, and that you refresh or update the DNS when you are making changes.

Enjoy…

Mary Harney singing the Cuppy Cake song

Brian “Biffo the lips” Cowen singing

Irish President Mary McAleese Eurovision Audition

I guess I must of really been board when I made these videos. . But I taught I might be fun to rip on the politicians again, “sure why not” as they say. Just above are my first three victims, whoops I mean political candidates for the videos on the musical side of Irish politics. I will update the video blog again as soon as I find more victims, whoops again I mean potiental political candidates for the next few videos. If you have any suggestions for the next victim please don’t hesitate by forwarding the victims/candidates name in the comments box below.

Just taught I would add some pictures too for the craic, well until I make another video.

]]> http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/2009/03/21/the-musical-side-of-irish-politics/feed/ http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/2009/02/28/pimping-out-your-blog-on-ballyfermotie/ http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/2009/02/28/pimping-out-your-blog-on-ballyfermotie/#comments Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:15:17 +0000 Darren's Blog Admin http://blogs.ballyfermot.ie/darrens/?p=16

Pimping out your Blog on Ballyfermot.ie

This is a tutorial is for customizing your blog with things like adding YouTube videos, animated pictures , downloading links and tips & tricks to customize your blog. There is another blog on Ballyfermot.ie with a tutorial on the basics of blogging and help setting up a blog on Ballyfermot.ie. This can be found on The Ballyfermot Bloggers page (just click on the highlighted text to be automatically directed to the page). The document was prepared by Andrew Clarke and is entitled “How to blog on Ballyfermot.ie”. If you are new to the world blogging I would advise reading that document first to get a better understanding about the basics before attempting some of the topics on this post.

YouTube Videos

If you wish to insert your YouTube videos into your blog to living it up a bit or show a video presentation on what ever your topic may be. The good news is inserting the YouTube video is extremely simple to embed into your blog and I will show in a few easy detailed steps followed by image screen shots for a better visual of the instructions.

Before embedding your You Tube video, you may have to login to your personal blog site administration dashboard and go to settings. Once you have the settings tab open, you should see a new tool bar with new options/headings present at the top of you page. Focus on the tool bar and click on the option for Easy Tube and the Easy Tube options page should open (figure 1.1).

Figure 1.1

The most important box to tick is Enable Relevant Videos followed by the two other enabling options to be ticked. You can also customize the size of your video screen size by scrolling through the video dimension options with selections such as Default, Small, Medium and Large sizes and you also have the option of choosing a boarder colour style to boarder/frame your You Tube video. When you are comfortable with your settings just click update button at the bottom of the page.

Now, to insert the video you must first go to You Tube and find the video that you want to insert.

1. Get the video URL code starting with http: by copying.

2. Go to your personal blog dashboard.

3. Click on write and the click in the writing box were you wish to insert the video.

4. Then type this

5. You just replace the red text with your YouTube video URL code. ( I apologize if the the image is hard to see but it was the only way I could insert an example of the code without step 4 turning into a youtube video size blank space, but the start of the code without the symbol is youtube:

6. Then just click the save button and exit.

7. Enjoy…

If you have any trouble getting your video to display or any questions just leave a comment and I will get back to you A.S.A.P. and there is also a voting pole at the end of the post with the options of letting me know if you found this post useful or not.

Inserting Animated pictures

figure 1.2

Inserting animated pictures can some times be difficult because the are usually large GIF files and the average blogging host usually just allow about 10MB of a space/storage for each blogger’s personal blog and I noticed that some of the animated pictures I created sometimes exceeds about 15MB-16MB in file size. “It’s a lot, I know”.

The way I worked around this was too upload my pictures with other another free web host like Photobucket.com and Flickr.com and just copy the image URL links from the upload picture/s and paste into my blog. Show my blogs space/storage is not effected the image or its file size.

To insert the image link

1. Go to your blog dashboard and click on the write option on the tool bar menu.
2. With the mouse click on the text area/box were you want insert the image.
3. While the cursor is flashing on the area click on the insert image button (IMG) at the top of the text box or you can click the add media button to do the same.
4. Then just insert the image URL by pasting (Ctrl & V) or right clicking on the URL box.
5. Then just click ok to insert to post.

If you have any trouble getting your image to display or any questions just leave a comment and I will get back to you A.S.A.P. and there is also a voting pole at the end of the post with the options of letting me know if you found this post useful or not.

Changing your writing tool bar from HTML to Visual

The Default HTML tool bar and page layout looks like this (figure1.3).

figure 1.3

And the new version will look like this (figure 1.4).

figure 1.4

Which includes more options like font options, adding polls, flash objects, numbering and text size etc…

To change the tool bar and the visual layout and also get the extra options is actually pretty easy to do and it can all be altered from your personal blog dashboard.

1. Enter your personal blog dashboard.
2. Look at the top right side of your screen you should see the options for settings, plugins & users.
3. Click users.
4. Two options should appear. Authors & users and Your Profile.
5. Click Your Profile.
6. When the page opens you should see a list of options and boxes.  At the top of the list tick the box beside the words VISUAL EDITOR to enable this mode.
7. Then your finished.
8. Once again Enjoy!

If you have any trouble getting the new tool bar to display or any questions just leave a comment and I will get back to you A.S.A.P. and there is also a voting pole at the end of the post with the options of letting me know if you found this post useful or not.

Adding a Voting poll to your side bar and into your blog

( See my poll at the top right of the scroll bar & the one at the end as an example )

To activate the poll options you must first go to your personal blog administration dashboard and click on plugins. The plugin option can be found on the top right corner of your dashboard (figure 1.5). When you find the plugin called WP-Polls, activate the option by clicking on activate. If you are not using the ballyfermot.ie blog you may have to find and upload this plugin into your WP-plugin folder and activate it.

figure 1.5

When the poll plugin is activated you have a new heading on your top tool bar in your dashboard, entitled POLL. Click on Poll and a sub toolbar with should display with 5 new sub options for polls. Manage polls, add poll, poll options, poll templates and uninstall wp-poll.

Adding a voting poll near your scroll bar

1. Go to your admin dashboard.
2. Then go to polls->add poll.
3. Create your poll and save it.
4. The on the menu tool bar go to Design->Widgets.
5. On the left side you will see polls and add on it, click add.
6. A poll options should now appear on the right side side.
7. You can edit your polls title & choose to display the polls archive if you want, but personally I think it may be best not too. You can also move/change the order of the poll widget in which you want it displayed.
8. Then click save changes and exit.
9. Then go to manage polls to check your polls status.
10. (Optional) You also go to poll options and edit to suit your poll.
11. And exit dashboard when done.

Adding a poll into your blog post

Visual Editor must be enabled first. ( See “changing your writing tool bar from HTML to Visual” at the top if your visual editor is not enabled yet )

1. Go to your admin dashboard.
2. Then go to polls->add poll.
3. Create your poll and save it.
4. Then go to manage polls and get your polls ID. The poll ID is on the left side of the screen and is usually numbered like Poll ID 1,2,3,4,5,6 etc… Remember what your new poll ID for later.
5. Then go to write on the menu tool bar.
6. With your mouse click in the text area were you want to insert the poll.
7. Then click on the add poll icon on the visual editor toolbar at the top.
8. A box should appear requesting the poll ID, enter your poll ID from step 4 and then click ok.
9. Your poll should now be inserted to your post.
10. Click on save post and exit.
11. Enjoy…

If you have any trouble inserting polls or any questions just leave a comment and I will get back to you A.S.A.P. and there is also a voting pole at the end of the post with the options of letting me know if you found this post useful or not.

Adding Smileys/Emoticons

To make emoticons available on your blog. On your admin dashboard go to settings->writing->formatting and tick the two boxes to enable.

figure 1.6

I have another page on emoticons/smileys, just click the red heading above and you will be automatically directed to the page and on the page you will find all the coolest emoticons around and a list of instructions on how to use them.

How to make downloads available from your blog

To make items such as your personal E-books, Documents, Videos, Widgets, Games & files etc available to download/share. What you have to do is set up a free account with a webhost like MediaFire. With Mediafire you can upload file sizes of 100MB per file and you get unlimited free storage for your files on their server. When you have your account set up and the file you want to make downloadable from your blog uploaded. Just copy the file URL link.

1. The go to your admin dashboard.
2. Go to write on the menu tool bar.
3. With your mouse, click on the text area were you want to insert the download link.
   
4. Write a title for the download and highlight it with your mouse.
5. While the text is highlighted blue go to the Insert link icon on the text area tool bar and click it.
6. A box should appear requesting the download URL link.
7. Paste the URL link & set the target, then click insert.
8. Then your done, Enjoy…

Just be original about your downloadable items and try not to break any copyright laws.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I will add more topics like adding games to your blog and using Google Analytics stats to keep a record of your page views and the the amounts clicks and visit stats for your site, I will add these topics within the next fews days so keep an eye out.

To add these EMOTICONS/SMILEYS to your forum post or to your blog just simply right click with the mouse on the emoticon you wish to use. When you press right button above the emoticon a box should appear, select “copy image location” by clicking on the left button on the mouse.

Then just go to where you want to insert the emoticon and click the IMG button at the top of the text box and when the IMG box appears just “paste” the image location which you copied into the box and press ok to confirm. ( Just like adding a picture ).
Here is a handy tip,
What I usually do is open another TAB with the emoticon’s open on that tab so I can easily switch between pages and the emoticons are much easier to find. To open a new tab just go up to the top left corner of your screen and left click file. Scroll down until you find NEW TAB and left click on it. The is also a simpler way by using key board commands to open a new tab, hold the CTRL button and press T. A new tab should open up straight away.

Here is a direct download link for Mozilla Firefox internet explorer if you have any trouble finding the image locations. Click here.

If you have any trouble inserting any of the emoticons just let me know and I will get straight back to you.

Enjoy…

Say hello to my little friend…
The Midget Brian Cowen Cancan Emoticon

Created by me, Darren Byrne

Send him to your Irish friends for the crack.

A Midget Vincent “Ballyfermot” Jackson Emoticon,

Created by me, Darren Byrne

A Midget Mary “Bacon” Harney Emoticon,

I know, it’s pretty disturbing…

A Barack Obama Emoticon

Created by me, Darren Byrne

Irish President Mary McAleese Emoticon,

Created by me, Darren Byrne

Little Girl Emoticon


Chucky 3D model

Created by me, Darren Byrne But Character based on the Chucky good guy doll from child’s play movies.

Garda Hip Hop Dancing

Created by me, Darren Byrne

Hooter’s Girl 3D model

Created by me, Darren Byrne (”I love their chicken”)

Watch my video clip please…

I want to start animating but the only problem is that I’ve got writers block and can’t think of any new idea’s for an animation. any suggestions would be appreciated.

One of my other videos

Check out my arcade game “Ballyfermot Bots” just below…

Ballyfermot ships

My new game - Beat up Brian Cowen
(Just click the picture below)

New game -Sniper - The Vincent Jackson Story

New game - The Mary Monsters

New game - The Pope Game

At least the black guy with the Irish magic flute (Piece of steel pipe) is safe. The magic flute that was handed down to him from his great black Irish ancestors that came from Ireland thousands of years ago. eh…yeah that really makes sense buddy.

Please contact the Alabama authorities if you see this Leprechaun:

Witnesses Description:
Irish Male
Red Hair
Big Red Bushy Beard
About 3000 years old
2ft tall
2ft wide
Likes to hide in trees

The culprit was last seen wearing a green jacket with green trousers and also wearing a green top hot with a buckle and just above the buckle there was a shamrock gang sign. The culprit is also believed to be armed with a wooden crack pipe and was last seen carrying a pot of gold in the ghetto.

Update

Watch my Leprechaun dance

By DarrenB
Aka

I believe everyone in their life time will at one stage will eventually be confronted by a Mormon/LDS faith/latter day saint church member trying to sell their “religion” to them. Whether they come knocking at your door or calling you over on the street asking, “If you believe in Jesus Christ?” This sentence also seems to be an opening question for all Mormons trying to sell their “religion” to anyone who they greet. There is definitely a pattern there, they must do some sort of training course before they go out preaching or maybe have a little preaching manual other than the book of Mormon, Abraham and their bible. For those that have already been approach by Mormons recruiting I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
Now lets get started, my first encounter with the Mormons preaching was just a few years ago on O’Connell street outside the G.P.O. unfortunately. But I guess this spot is known for a lot of political and religious movements onto the public. Like if it’s not a fight outside the G.P.O. its pro –choice Christians and Catholics protesting with pickets against abortions, stem cell research and homosexuality or the Atheists protesting God is imaginary (yes, I am an Atheist) or the local friendly un-happy taxi drives protesting there not making enough money and finally you also have the Mormons selling their “religion” there. They must have it marked on a Google map or something. Back to my story, one the Mormons approached me asked, “If I believed in Jesus Christ”. I actually had to stop and think about it, since I was kind of only sixteen at the time and came from Catholic roots, but I always questioned my faith when I was a Catholic. But then I just looked at him and said, “No”. I probably should have proclaimed “I don’t know” just like an Agnostic, probably would have saved me from a debate and a debate I was unprepared for since I didn’t know much about the Mormon believes at the time. So he said to do you a have a few minutes, I said “yep, fire away”. (I should have said NO). So he continued to tell me about there beliefs, like about there about prophet Joseph smith and his connection to Jesus Christ and what there church can do for me, like save my soul. At this stage the taught of this is a ”CULT” was in the back of my mind and I better get out her but my pride got the better off me as soon as I heard the sentence save my soul. I just had to ask the obvious questions, why does my soul have to be saved and what makes you think my soul needs to be saved when you just met me less than five minutes ago. A huge smirk all of a sudden came across this guys face and he just turned to another Mormon that was there and chuckled, another taught was in the back of my mind now and it went something like “what a …..”, but looking the two of them it just reminded me of Bill & Ben the flower pot men so I held my tongue and when the Mormon looked back at me he replied, “because you have not accepted God, Jesus and Joseph smith and judgement day you will stand before these three and they are to be worshiped if you want to go to Kolob” (Kolob is the Mormon heaven, which is also a planet that doesn’t exist). My answer was clear and loud,” WTF”? Well at least that stunned his smirk and it was now my turn to smirk because it’s just bizarre. I just asked him has he got any physical proof to back up his acquisition and he held out his Mormon leaflets and said, here is my proof. I just said bye bye and walked off. And as I was walking of he said to me have faith in Jesus Christ for Jesus Christ loves you. But what I think he meant to say was;

(I took the U out of the picture)
So I got the hell out of there as quick as I could before I found myself at one of Bill & Ben parties wearing a bubble wrap suit with a name tag on it and drinking soda with a hint of rat poison.
That was the last I saw of Bill and the Ben the two flower pot men, but unforgently it wasn’t my last encounter with the Mormons but only the beginning. They even found me on the internet and tried to convert me there while I was asking questions on Christian and Atheist blogs or simply just writing on a forum website. Once again I made the mistake of replying to them, I didn’t think that they had the books of Mormonism on E-book. There E-books and news letters filled my inbox like crazy on a weekly basis. I have read some of the stuff the sent me but found really bizarre, I do like a good sci-fiction like star wars etc… But their believes are just barking mad. They will tell you a lot of stuff that is related to Christianity and there little twist to it just to get you to consider going to one of there churches but don’t tell you about the really bizarre stuff until later. Stuff like -

Bizarre Mormon Beliefs

1. Mormons believe god was a man and then Aliens made him a God.
2. God lives on a planet called Kolob.
3. That God got basically physical with Mary. So she was not a virgin.
4. Jesus and Satan are brothers.
5. Black people are black because they stayed neutral and didn’t decide between Jesus or Satan so they were cursed with black skin by Elohim.
6. The also believe Native Americans are Israelites.
7. That Joseph Smith is a descendant of Jesus.
8. That when they die, they will become the God of there own planet.
9. That you need to know the secret Mormon password which is a handshake of some sort for when you meet Elohim (God), Jesus and Joseph Smith.
10. That you are more likely to get into the celestial kingdom if you have at least 10 wives not just one.
11. It is a Mormon tradition to baptize the dead.
12. They believe that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri in the USA.
13. That dinosaur fossils were created by Satan to deceive the world about the truth of creation.
14. Satan controls all the water in the world.
15. Jesus was married and he had more than one wife and a bunch of kids.
16. That only Mormon men can perform miracles and only the men but the women could receives these miracles.
17. They wear weird white underwear/ spiritual armor.

The Mormon magic underwear

Mormons believe the magic underwear can protect them against the following:

• Knife attacks
• Bullets
• Satan
• Fire
• Etc…
(Don’t try this at home, you will get hurt)

Other weird things about Mormons:

• Many Mormons use fake swear words like Fetch and Flip and what the heck.
• Mormons tend to have large families.
• Many Mormons do not drink anything with caffeine, so Caffeine-free
• Most men (ages 19) and many women (ages 21) dedicate 2 years or 1.5
• years respectively to being missionaries and not only do they not receive
Pay, they pay to do it! There is no dating or movies or schooling during that time.
• They also do not choose where in the world they go. Pretty remarkable, really.
• Mormons are commanded to not drink alcohol, tea or coffee, smoke,
or use recreational drugs.
• Mormons are commanded to not have sex outside of the bonds of marriage.
• Mormons pay 10% of their income to the church as a tithe.
• Mormons who have been to the temple wear sacred undergarments as a
Symbol of covenants made there.
• Mormons meet for 3 hours every Sunday (that’s a lot of meetings!).
• Mormons believe in other scriptures in addition to the Bible, particularly The Book of Mormon.
• Mormons address each other as Brother and Sister.
• Mormons believe in a lay clergy and so they often have? Callings or responsibilities within the church. For example, they may teach Sunday school, direct the youth program, or perform other similar duties for which they are not paid.

Irish Mormon history link…

Mormon Wikipedia info…

How to say NO to a Mormon missionary…

By Darren B
Aka

Thanks for reading

Ah, I just got bored one day and decided to draw an imaginary friend for the post. Not bad for an Atheist though.